


The Trees of Doom

by pigeonking



Series: The Missing Doctor Adventures - Season One [13]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 15:17:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10468023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonking/pseuds/pigeonking
Summary: After every season of Doctor Who we've all grown accustomed to the annual Christmas Special, so I did one of my own for The Missing Doctor Adventures. I know it's not Christmas yet, but who cares? This story introduces a new companion for my Doctor, Bex Jensen. Inspired by another one of my celebrity crushes, Bex Taylor Klaus.I also have actors that I visualise for the Doctor and Clover too.For my Doctor I eventually decided upon the actor Kevin McKidd of Dog Soldiers and Gray's Anatomy fame.And even though Clover was inspired by the character of the same name in Totally Spies, her real life avatar is Alicia Moore aka P!nk! Enjoy... Season 2 will be along later this year...





	

Bex Jensen looked at herself in the changing room mirror. She looked ridiculous, or at least she thought so. She was dressed from head to toe in the garb of a stereotypical Christmas elf. Right from the green pointy hat that sat upon her head, the short sleeved also-green tunic, extremely tight green shorts tucked into long red and white striped socks and down into the black shiny and pointy shoes. She even sported a pair of fake pointy elf ears over the tops of her own smaller more rounded ears. Bex couldn’t help but laugh at herself, but she couldn’t complain. She had to wear this ensemble as the uniform for her new Christmas job selling Christmas trees for one of the huge department stores in Central London.

Bex had decided to take a year out to go travelling after graduating from college in her native Boston back in the USA. After touring continental Europe she had come to the United Kingdom and fallen in love with the place, prompting her to extend her stay for a while, hence the need for a Christmas job. Being a tree selling Christmas elf wasn’t exactly her first choice for a post-graduate career, but it was only temporary and money was money.

As she took one last look at herself, her short almost boyish dark hair protruding from beneath the cap and her blue-grey eyes staring back at her, Bex smiled and decided that she actually looked kind of cute as an elf. And so she exited the changing room and set out to begin her first shift selling Christmas trees to the masses.

When she got out onto the shop floor Bex was greeted by her fellow ‘elves’. There were three of them altogether; two guys and another girl. All were attired in the same elf regalia as she was.

One of the guys was ambiguously Asian, he could have been Chinese or Japanese or even Korean, but Bex could not tell which. The other guy was a white dude in his forties and looked the most conspicuous and ridiculous in his elf garb. With his short white beard he looked like he should be playing Santa instead! The girl was of Afro-Caribbean origin and made the elf look rock even better than Bex did… at least that was Bex’s humble opinion.

Her fellow elves introduced themselves.

“Hi, I’m Kevin!” smiled the Asian guy, shaking her hand warmly.

Kevin, huh? Bex thought to herself. That’s a distinctly un-Asian name; doesn’t really help me pin down where he’s from.

Aloud she said: “Hi, Kevin! Pleased to meet you!” shaking his hand and returning the smile.

“I’m Richard!” the other guy introduced himself.

“Hi, Richard!” Bex beamed back. Let’s hope you don’t turn out to be a dick, she added silently.

“And I’m Natalie.” The cute Caribbean girl said, offering her hand to be shook as well.

“I’m Bex!” Bex answered with her most charming smile, realising that she hadn’t actually mentioned her own name before now. She held onto Natalie’s hand a little longer than was perhaps necessary, but if the young girl minded it was not apparent in her demeanour. “That’s short for Rebecca.” She added a little unnecessarily.

After that the first customers began to arrive and there was no more time for idle chit-chat.

“The job’s simple, Bex!” Richard offered with a friendly smile. “Just sell as many Christmas trees as you can!”

Bex’s first customer was a tall dark haired man in a long grey cashmere coat, blue shirt and tie and black trousers. She found him literally sniffing around the Christmas trees like a dog trying to find somewhere to relieve itself.

“Are you interested in buying one, sir?” she asked, deciding to treat him as if sniffing Christmas trees was the most normal thing in the world.

“I beg your pardon, Miss!” he replied in a broad Scottish accent. “Do these Christmas trees smell odd to you?”

Bex wrinkled her nose in confusion. “I hadn’t really thought about it, sir.”

“Please, call me Doctor!” he insisted; then he picked up one of the trees and thrust it under her nose. “Go on! Have a whiff!”

Bex obligingly sniffed the tree. Somewhere amidst the earthy pine smell that you’d expect from your average Christmas fir tree there was the barely perceptible stench of what could only be described as rotting meat.

“That can’t be right!” Bex murmured doubtfully.

“Ahhh!” the Doctor remarked with an air of smug satisfaction. “So you can smell it! What do you suppose it is?”

Bex remembered what she had been told in her training.

“Morgan Chase Christmas Trees have been treated by a special chemical that prevents the shedding of pine needles on your nice clean carpet.” She recited from memory. “Perhaps that’s what you can smell?”

“Congratulations!” the Doctor beamed. “You’d make a very fine parrot! Is that what they’ve told you to say it is? That’s all very interesting, but what do you think it is?”

Bex shrugged. “I don’t know.” She confessed. “I’ve got no reason to disbelieve what they’ve told me. What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know either, but don’t you think it’s fascinating?” the Doctor replied with a conspiratorial wink.

“Um… yes?” Bex answered with perplexed bemusement. “Look, Doctor what-ever-your-name-is…”

“Just Doctor is fine!” the Doctor assured her.

“Whatever!” she was starting to get impatient. “Do you want to buy a tree or not? At £9.99 they’re practically a steal!”

“Yes, that’s another thing!” the Doctor mused out loud. “Why are they selling so cheaply? I mean look at these things… they’re exquisitely beautiful! Mr Chase would be well within his rights to sell them for ten times the amount that he’s asking!”

“Hey, I just sell the damn things! What do you want from me?” Bex griped.

“Look, um… sorry, but I didn’t catch your name?” the Doctor replied.

“It’s Bex… Bex Jensen.”

“Bex, I like you and I’m in the market for a temporary assistant at the moment. My usual one isn’t feeling very well which is why we’re gonna be spending Christmas in London it seems. How would you like to be my new assistant for a while?” the Doctor asked her.

“I have a job!” Bex told him.

“Oh this isn’t a job. More of a hobby you might say. You wouldn’t be paid, but I can promise you that it’ll be very exciting.” The Doctor assured her.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t chow down on salami, if you catch what I’m saying?” Bex replied and even she thought that her chosen euphemism was a little odd.

“Why on earth would that be at all relevant unless I was planning on taking you to a delicatessen? Strictly no salami I can assure you!”

“No, I meant I’m not into guys.” Bex blushed furiously as she spelled out what she had tried to convey more subtly.

“Well that’s alright!” the Doctor replied. “Neither am I! Oh I see… you thought that I was…. Oh no… Not at all! I’m very happy in that respect with my other companion. This is more of a partners in crime… cohorts in adventure type of deal… do you get me?”

“What exactly do you have in mind?” Bex asked him curiously.

“Well for starters what time do you finish work?” the Doctor wondered.

“Around seven thirty. Why?”

“I’ll meet you outside here at seven thirty then.” The Doctor told her.

“Okay, but what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to break in here and investigate those Christmas trees!”

 

After finishing her shift Bex was glad to change out of the elf costume and into her own clothes.

She was wearing a pair of black jeans that had faded from many washes so that they appeared a dark grey instead; her ensemble was completed by a long sleeved top that proclaimed her allegiance to the punk rock band, Paramore and a black leather jacket over the top of it. Bex then went outside and lingered a little to wait for this strange Doctor to arrive.

She didn’t have to wait too long as she recognised the tall dark figure of the Doctor making his way towards her through the departing crowd like a grey cashmere clad salmon swimming against the current to reach the top of the waterfall.

Bex waited for him to reach her and greeted him with a warm smile.

“Well, you’re punctual, I’ll give you that!” she remarked dryly.

“It wouldn’t do for a Time Lord to be late!” the Doctor told her cheerfully.

“A Time what now?” Bex regarded him with a puzzled frown.

“Never mind!” the Doctor waved his hand dismissively, then peered closely at her ears. “Are you sure that you’re human?”

Bex blushed under the Doctor’s close scrutiny.

“What do you mean? Of course I’m human! What else would I be?”

“It’s just that your ears…” the Doctor began.

Bex fondled her ears self-consciously and found that she hadn’t removed her elf ears. She felt herself burn an even deeper shade of pink and she removed the ears promptly and shoved them into her jacket pocket.

“There are you happy now?” she grumbled.

“Actually I think you should have kept them on; they were quite fetching!” the Doctor opined, but soon shut up at the sight of Bex’s slightly annoyed glare.

“So what’s the game plan, Doctor?” Bex brought him back to the situation at hand. “Are we really planning on breaking into the place where I work? If we get caught they’ll probably fire me… at the very least!”

“Then let’s not get caught!” the Doctor winked. “Besides, if I’m right then getting fired is going to be the least of your worries, believe me!”

“You really think that there’s something going on in there, don’t you?” Bex asked seriously.

The Doctor nodded. “I do.” He confirmed. “So are you in? Not too late to walk away, if that’s what you want to do?”

Bex, to her own astonishment, did not even hesitate with her answer.

“No, I’m in.” she said. “So let’s get going!”

The Doctor rubbed his hands together gleefully. “That’s the spirit!”

Bex led the Doctor round to the back of the building.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” Bex muttered, half to herself. “I barely know you. Everything about you screams weirdo, and yet here I am about to commit a felony with you!”

“Admit it, Bex… there’s a part of you that finds all this exciting!” the Doctor answered her. “I can sense that you have an adventurous spirit. It’s one of the reasons that I invited you to join me on this little escapade.”

Bex broke into a happy smile as if experiencing some kind of epiphany.

“Yeah, you’re right! I do have an adventurous spirit!”

By that time they had reached the rear fire exit.

“This is where we’ll gain our entry.” The Doctor announced rather unnecessarily and began fishing in his pockets for his sonic sword.

“How are you gonna open it without tripping the alarm?” Bex wondered.

The Doctor pulled out his sonic sword with a flourish and ran it briefly over the locking mechanism of the fire doors. There was a shrill whirring from the sonic and then the Doctor pressed down on the release handle.

The doors opened soundlessly. Bex steeled herself for the barrage of noise that would herald the alarm going off. It never came.

She looked at the Doctor with new found respect.

“Child’s play!” the Doctor whispered theatrically as he returned his sonic to the folds of his jacket.

They went inside.

Of course now that the department store was closed all of the lights were off and so the Doctor found himself fishing through his pockets again until he found a little torch to provide a little illumination.

The beam of his torch danced over some of the various displays that peppered the ground floor of the huge store. When the light fell upon the impassive visage of an immaculately attired mannequin the Doctor had to suppress an involuntary shudder.

This did not go unnoticed by Bex.

“It’s not going to come to life, you know!” she teased.

“That one, maybe, but it has been known!” the Doctor replied.

Bex took a moment to digest this.

“You’ve actually seen this happen?” she wondered.

“I haven’t personally, but I possess the memories of someone who has!” the Doctor told her.

Bex shook her head in puzzlement. “Say what now?”

“It’s complicated.” The Doctor assured her. “Perhaps I’ll get to explain to you sometime.”

“I think I’d like that.” Bex agreed.

“Ah, here we are!” the Doctor exclaimed in a loud whisper… they had reached the Christmas trees.

To be fair there were not that many left; about six of them. Bex and her colleagues had sold most of them during opening hours.

“There must be hundreds, if not thousands of homes in London that has one of these trees perched in the corner of their living room by now.” The Doctor mused.

“Is that a bad thing, do you reckon?” Bex had to ask.

“If my theory is correct then yes.” The Doctor answered her. “Every single one of those households is in mortal danger!”

“Well, let’s hope that your theory is wrong then.” Bex replied simply.

“Only one way to find out.” The Doctor remarked and he pulled out his sonic sword again.

“What are you gonna do with that thing?” Bex arched an eyebrow dubiously. “What is that thing anyway?”

“It’s my sonic sword, a device of my own invention. It can be used like a sonic screwdriver to loosen bolts, unlock various types of locking mechanism; there are various analytical settings that allow you to take readings on things such as molecular structures or genetic makeups or it can resonate sound at different frequencies that can allow the manipulation and reshaping of matter and atoms on a molecular level… I could stand here all night telling you what it can do, but I think I’ve given you enough of a general idea.” He explained, all the while, as he spoke he ran the sonic over the assembled trees, taking various readings.

“What is it telling you about those trees?” Bex wondered.

“Unfortunately it’s telling me that I’m right.” The Doctor replied. “Sometimes I hate being right!”

All of a sudden the two adventurers were bathed in a beam of light from an unexpected source.

“Oi! What do you two think you’re playing at?” a security guard was standing over them, shining his own torch beam at them like an accusatory pointing finger. He was tall and well built, like a nightclub bouncer and appeared to be in his forties and he was not amused.

The Doctor held his hand in front of his face to shield his eyes from the intensity of the light that was being shone into them.

“Do you mind lowering your torch beam a little?” he complained. “I don’t think breaking and entering is quite punishable by being blinded!”

“Be still my bleeding heart!” the guard retorted unsympathetically, but lowered his torch anyway.

It was as the Doctor’s eyes were adjusting to not having a light shone in them anymore that he noticed a movement behind the security guard.

“Look out behind you!” the Doctor called a warning.

“Do you think I was born yesterday?” the guard sneered.

And then the Christmas tree grabbed him from behind.

“What the fuck?” the guard exclaimed as a tentacle-like branch snaked around his barrel like chest and another encircled his neck like a spiny green scarf.

Bex couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing, unlike the Doctor who, though horrified, did not seem surprised at all.

Then it got worse.

The tendril-like branches that had ensnared the guard began to constrict like the coils of a python and the needle sharp pines punctured fabric and skin alike, blood welling up from the many wounds.

The guard screamed.

Wherever the blood touched the pine needles or the branches it would recede and gradually disappear as if it were being absorbed into the body of the tree itself.

“The tree is feeding on his blood!” Bex exclaimed in horror.

The tendrils pulled around the guard tighter and tighter and more blood burst forth and was absorbed with each constriction. Around the guard’s neck the branch there had already ruptured the carotid artery and the resulting torrent of crimson did not go to waste.

It all happened so quickly and within a matter of moments the guard was dead and almost completely drained of blood.

“We’ve gotta get outta here!” Bex tugged on the Doctor’s sleeve urgently.

They turned to run and found themselves surrounded by the other Christmas trees, rapidly closing in on them.  

“STOP!” a voice rang out from nowhere and, just like that, the trees came to a halt mere inches away from the Doctor and Bex.

The Doctor and Bex looked around to locate the owner of the voice and saw a man standing there with some sort of weird electronic device held aloft in his right hand. He looked to be in his late forties or early fifties and still had a full head of dark hair, peppered tastefully with grey. The man was dressed in a black trouser suit over a white shirt with black tie.

“You must be the Doctor, I presume?” the man beamed.

“I am.” The Doctor nodded. “Now who might you be… no wait… let me guess… you’re Morgan Chase aren’t you?”

The man slid his device into an outer pocket and slow clapped the Doctor with a sardonic smile.

“Well done!” Chase confirmed. “I am indeed.”

“And these trees are your creation, are they?” the Doctor gestured at the trees surrounding him and Bex.

“A culmination of a lifetime of work!” Chase declared proudly. “I was hoping that you would become involved. I owe you a debt of vengeance for what you did to my father!”

“Your father being…?” the Doctor feigned ignorance though he felt that he already knew the answer.

“Don’t pretend that you do not know!” Chase sneered. “My father was Harrison Chase!”

“Your father was a lunatic!” the Doctor retorted. “Looks like the apple hasn’t fallen that far from the tree where that’s concerned. You seem to have inherited his love of botany too, I see!”

“I was ten years old when my father was murdered!” Chase spat back bitterly. “Murdered by you!”

“He tried to kill me first and if I remember rightly I actually tried to save his life!” the Doctor returned. He knew that he was actually remembering what the original Doctor had done and that he personally had not done any of this at all, but he didn’t want to complicate matters by bringing up his clone status so for now he was happy to pretend to be the Doctor that Chase believed him to be.

Bex was confused. “If this guy was ten when you supposedly killed his dad then how come he looks older than you now?”

“Does your little friend not know the truth about you, Doctor?” Chase chided.

“I’m sort of wondering how you know so much about me?” the Doctor replied. “I never even knew that Chase had a son. He didn’t seem the type!  Chase was more interested in plants than human beings!”

“That’s right, he was.” Chase agreed. “My mother was a botanist whom Chase employed to look after one of his sick plants back in 1965. They must have gotten close because I was born the following year. Of course father never even knew I existed. Mother never told him about me because, as she put it, he loved his flowers much more than he would ever love me! She still told me everything about him though and I became fascinated by this powerful and mysterious man who had fathered me and yet whom I would never meet!”

“So how did you come to find out about his death?” the Doctor asked.

“My mother informed me, but it was not until fifteen years later that I found out the details surrounding it. I had a contact within UNIT that was able to acquire for me the information that I needed regarding my father’s case. You can imagine how fascinated I was to learn of the existence of the Krynoids. When I learnt of your involvement in my father’s demise I asked my UNIT contact to acquire me as much information as he could possibly get his hands on that would tell me more about this mysterious Doctor. As a result I know all about you being an alien with the power to change your face and that you have the ability to travel in time and space using your, what is it called… TARDIS?”

The Doctor nodded in confirmation.

Bex was looking at him in astounded amazement.

“Is this all true?” she asked him.

“Yup, all of it!” the Doctor replied.

“Since then I have dedicated my life trying to locate two further Krynoid pods so that I could complete what my father started and realise his life’s dream… a world ruled by plants, but with me as their leader!” Chase declared, his eyes gleaming with madness.

“But you only found one didn’t you?” the Doctor realised. “I found the other one and hid it in my freezer… the same one that Clover found… the same one that took over Sly’s mother, forcing me to kill her before she could spread the Krynoid’s evil!”

“So it was you that found the other one!” Chase raised an eyebrow archly. “I suspected as much!”

“Okay, so let me get this straight…” the Doctor continued. “You acquired yourself a Krynoid pod and isolated the DNA to create what… Krynoid Christmas Trees? And now you’re going to use them to take over the world?”

“Each of my Krynoid Christmas Trees has been fitted with an inhibitor. While it is activated the trees are dormant. Just normal trees! However, on Christmas Eve I will deactivate the inhibitor in every tree that I have sold and the Krynoids will run amok. Through them I will be able to control every plant, first in London and then the world!” Chase ranted.

“Well now I know you’re mad!” the Doctor chuckled. “I just wanted to make sure!”

Bex couldn’t help but chuckle along with him at that one.

“Laugh it up all you want!” Chase sneered. “Unfortunately for you you’re not going to be around to see it!”

With those words he took the device that he’d been holding from his pocket and pressed a button on it.

And the Christmas trees came to life again!

The Doctor pulled out his sonic sword.

“Watch this, Bex! You’re about to find out why it’s called a sonic _sword_!” he declared with a devilish grin. He activated the nano-blade and Bex looked suitably impressed as the twelve inch long blade extended.

“Woah!” she exclaimed.

“Duck!” the Doctor shouted.

Bex did as she was told and the Doctor spun the blade around in a wide circle instantly cleaving into several of the trees encircling them.

An inhuman screech was actually heard escaping from the wounded trees and they immediately retreated a few steps back away from the Doctor and Bex. They were not used to prey that started biting back!

“Come now, Doctor, you’re only delaying the inevitable!” Chase barked out with a mad grin stretched across his face.

“Aren’t you going to walk off and leave us to our fate like a good little megalomaniac?” the Doctor asked as he hacked into the torso of another tree. This time he cleaved the tree in half right down the middle and the two halves collapsed to the shop floor and became inert.

“You are joking, aren’t you, Doctor? I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Chase chuckled in reply, seemingly unperturbed by the demise of one of his trees.

The Doctor took Bex by the hand and led her through the gap that he had just created.

The five remaining Krynoid trees gave chase.

They were surprisingly nimble for creatures that did not have any legs or feet to speak of; they scrabbled along pulling themselves forward using the longer lower limbs of their branches.

The Doctor ran passed a convenient exit and disappeared deeper into the store.

“What are you doing?” Bex wondered as she allowed herself to be dragged along by the hand. “We just ran by the exit!”

“We’re not leaving!” the Doctor told her. “We need to get rid of these trees! And by get rid I mean destroy!”

Bex tugged her hand free of his.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” she replied and she ran over to the far wall where a big red metal box contained a fire hose for emergencies and also… a fire axe.

Bex smashed the glass with her elbow, the tough leather of her jacket protecting her from injury, and she snatched up the axe.

“Come on, Doc!” she yelled and she ran at the nearest Krynoid tree.

Bex raised the axe over her head in a two-handed grip and then brought it down in a swift chopping movement upon the ‘head’ of the tree. Her blow bisected the treetop, but Bex didn’t stop there. The axe blade rose and fell again and again, Bex yelling like a maniac with each blow until she had reduced her opponent to kindling.

The Doctor looked on with mounting respect for his newfound friend. And then he raised his sonic sword and joined her in the fray.

Instead of running from the Krynoids they attacked them with axe and sword.

Very soon they stood their panting from their exertions, surrounded by so much firewood that they could have started their own bonfire. The heady scent of cut pine filled the air.

“Well that wasn’t so hard!” the Doctor smirked at Bex and winked.

She smiled back at him, leaning on her axe handle as she caught her breath.

Morgan Chase was not quite so amused to see his beloved trees cut down so easily.

“You leave me no choice, Doctor!” he snarled angrily. “I must bring my plans forward. Instead of Christmas Eve I shall be activating my Krynoid army tonight! And there is nothing you can do to stop it!”

Before the Doctor or Bex could move to stop him Chase ran off to carry out his threat.

“We’ve gotta get after him!” Bex urged.

“Let him go.” The Doctor told her. “I have another idea!”   

 

The Doctor and Bex left the building using the same fire exit that they’d entered by.

Bex followed the Doctor until he came to a stop by a blue police telephone box perched on the corner of a nearby alley.

“If you wanted to call the police you could’ve borrowed my mobile!” she remarked.

“Don’t be daft!” the Doctor replied. “This is my TARDIS… you didn’t think I came here by taxi, did you?”

He unlocked the door and bustled Bex inside.

Bex ground to a halt halfway between the door and the hexagonal control console that dominated the vast room that she found herself in.

“What the fuck just happened?” she asked in amazement.

“Trans-dimensional Time Lord technology!” the Doctor told her as he bounded over to the console and began to pull switches and levers.

The doors closed behind Bex automatically and the rotor in the centre of the console began to rise and fall rhythmically, accompanied by a mechanical howling and grinding noise.

“So, it’s bigger inside than out, right?” Bex uttered as she tried to get her head around it.

“That’s what trans-dimensional means, thereabouts!” the Doctor nodded absently. “Focus on the task at hand please!”

“Yeah, right, sorry… emergency!” Bex replied and she joined the Doctor at the console. “So what’s this great plan?”

The Doctor fished a piece of Christmas tree from his pocket which he had taken from the remains of the Krynoids they’d fought earlier. He fed a sample of it into a tube that popped out of the console at the push of a button. The tube retracted back into the console and a little monitor in front of them began to process all manner of data concerning the sample’s molecular structure, DNA and chemical makeup.

The Doctor tapped a few switches here and there, typed in a few commands on a keyboard and suddenly the monitor displayed a map of Greater London that was illuminated by hundreds, if not thousands, of little red dots.

“Those red dots represent all of the homes in London that has one of Chase’s Krynoid Christmas trees!” the Doctor explained, jabbing a finger at the little screen. “We’re going to pull off a Santa and visit every one of those houses to effectively de-Krynoid every one of those trees!”

“How are we going to do all of them in time?” Bex wondered.

The Doctor looked at her and grinned manically.

“Time machine, remember?”

Bex found herself grinning back, despite herself.

“And how are you planning on ‘de-Krynoid’-ing them?”

At that moment the rotor slowed to a halt and the howling and grinding resonated around the control room once more.

The Doctor activated the door control and ran outside, pulling out his sonic sword as he went.

Bex followed after him.

 

Outside the police box the street corner had been replaced by a homely Christmas living room.

A mother and father sat on a burgundy sofa watching TV, although now they were gaping open mouthed at the two strangers that had invaded their home from this mysterious blue box that had appeared as if from nowhere.

Two children, a boy and a girl, had been squabbling over toys on the rug in front of the fireplace and they too were now flabbergasted by the new arrivals.

“Santa?” the girl asked dubiously.

“Don’t be silly!” the boy chided. “That’s not Santa!”

“Don’t mind us!” the Doctor announced cheerfully. “Christmas tree inspectors! We have reason to believe you may have been sold a defective Christmas tree!”

The tree in question sat in a corner between the TV and the sofa and was already beginning to twitch. A clock on the mantelpiece proclaimed the time to be five minutes past eight in the evening.

The Doctor raised his sonic sword and pointed it at the tree. He activated it and a shrill hum resonated towards the stem of the tree. The quivering of the branches intensified for a matter of moments and then… the tree became still.

The Doctor lowered his sword and replaced it within his jacket.

“Voila!” he declared. “Your tree should now be fine!”

He turned on his heel and marched back into the TARDIS.

Bex followed him.

“Merry Christmas!” she called to the astounded family as she disappeared inside.

Seconds later the family gawped in amazement as the blue box faded from their living room with a howling and grinding noise.

 

“What did you do to the tree?” Bex asked as the Doctor pre-set the controls for their next little trip.

“I used my sonic to induce a massive internal electrical trauma within the tree, overriding the implant that Chase put into it and turning it against it. Everything Krynoid was killed and all that remains behind is the normal and harmless Christmas tree exterior. Now we just have to do the same to every other tree that’s out there.” The Doctor explained.

“Every single tree?” Bex exclaimed. “One at a time?”

The Doctor nodded.

“One down, one thousand three hundred and sixty eight to go!”

 

And so the Doctor and Bex materialised in living room after living room, always at around five past eight, or thereabouts. They would march out of the TARDIS. Sometimes the room would be empty, but other times there would be people there, as in the first one, and those people would exclaim and stare and the Doctor would trot out the same Christmas Tree Inspectors routine. Then he would point his sonic at the tree and work his magic. The tree would be rendered harmless and the Doctor and Bex would depart again.

“Merry Christmas!” Bex would call out cheerily every time without fail.

For the next five hours or so it was five past eight for the Doctor and Bex over and over again until finally there was only one more tree left to do…

 

The TARDIS manifested itself within the corner of the final living room. As with all the other rooms the door opened and the Doctor and Bex emerged… and then the Doctor paused and looked around him with a puzzled expression upon his face.

“This room looks familiar!” he declared.

Bex shrugged. “I dunno, when you’ve seen one living room you’ve kinda seen ‘em all!” she deadpanned.

“I’m telling you!” the Doctor persisted. “I’m getting a strong sense of déjà vu, as if I’ve been in here before!”

And then Clover walked in with Ramona, the landlady of the local pub. Both were carrying steaming mugs of hot tea.

They paused in the doorway when they saw the Doctor and Bex standing there, the TARDIS in the corner behind them.

Open mouthed stares of astonishment were exchanged.

And then Clover’s gaze fell upon the young and attractive woman that stood at the Doctor’s side.

“Who’s she?” she demanded.

“Clover it’s not what you think!” the Doctor protested. “Bex doesn’t even fancy men!”

“Hey!” Bex complained, not happy about having her sexuality openly discussed between strangers.

And then the Christmas tree attacked!

Clover pushed the Doctor out of the way just in time, but this caused him to drop his sonic sword.

The Krynoid tree swayed from side to side in the centre of the room as it deliberated over which warm fleshed humanoid it should feast upon first.

Bex scrabbled upon the floor and retrieved the sonic weapon. She pointed it towards the tree and it began to advance towards her.

Bex had no idea how to activate the sonic.

“A little help, please!” she panicked.

“Twist the handle ninety degrees clockwise!” the Doctor called from his position under Clover on the floor.

The tree flailed a limb at Bex.

She twisted the handle of the sonic and…

VREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

The low hum that she had become accustomed to over the course of the night and over several hundreds of five past eights emitted from the sonic.

The tree trembled and quivered like a giant green spiny jelly and then it keeled over and landed on Bex.

She closed her eyes as she half expected the needles to puncture her skin and begin to feed, but nothing happened.

For what seemed like an age she just lay there under the tree.

“Can someone please get this thing off of me?” she exclaimed.

 

A short while later they were all sat on the sofa in the living room at Allen Road. The TARDIS still stood sentinel where it had landed and the tree had been replaced in the corner by the fireplace where it had previously stood. It was now half past eight in the evening.

“I don’t get it.” The Doctor was saying. “I mean I did originally go out to buy a tree for the house earlier today, but didn’t end up buying one after I discovered these Krynoid hybrids at Morgan Chase’s this afternoon!”

“I’m afraid I’m the one that got you a tree.” Ramona confessed. “I bought it last week for you. I had no idea whether you guys would be back for Christmas or not, but I decided to buy you both a tree and put it up for you as a surprise in case you did come back!”

“That’s alright, Ramona, you weren’t to know that you were buying a homicidal man eating alien Christmas tree!” the Doctor smiled at her warmly.

“So what’s going to happen with Morgan Chase?” Bex wondered.

“I’ve already put in a call with UNIT. They’re on their way round to his store right now to arrest him!” the Doctor winked at her.

“You still haven’t told me why Bex was in the TARDIS with you?” Clover reminded him. “I get sick once and already you’re auditioning for a new companion!”

“It’s not like that!” the Doctor assured her. “I’d never replace you! No one could ever replace you!”

And then Clover started to cry.

“Well you might have to replace me!” she sobbed at him. “Not like I’m gonna be able to travel with you for the foreseeable future!”

The Doctor put his arms around her consolingly.

“Never!” he hushed her. “I’ll never replace you. Whatever it is, we can work it out, I promise you. Just tell me what’s wrong?”

Clover looked him in the eyes, trying desperately to blink away her tears. She smiled at the man she loved and said: “Doctor, I’m pregnant!”

 

**To Be Continued…**


End file.
